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Well, nearly. Stepping up my guerilla anti-dog fouling campaign I pull my boots on, pull a fleece over my pyjamas and head out to Denton Road armed with chalk. My intention is to write "Dog owners, please clear up your dog's mess. Children walk here" on the wall outside Stationer's Park.
As I'm hastily chalking the letters, a patrol car slows down and moves on. I think they haven't seen me (very inconspicuous clothing - long doc marten boots, striped pyjamas, wild hair - must swat up on guerilla camouflage) so I continue in my mission.
Five minutes later the car returns and stops and two WPCs step out of the car. I explain that it's just chalk and it's part of a campaign to end this scourge of dog fouling by a children's park and school but they're insistent it is criminal damage and I must wash it off. They are clear that I must fetch a bucket and a brush. I guess this is so it feels like a real punishment.
I am actually gleeful. It furthers my campaign far more than the writing would have done but I'm disappointed they won't let me take a picture of what I've done so far. I am told that I might get away with a nicely laminated sign on the wall.
So, back to Ridge Road for my pail of soapy water and two washing up brushes. I scrub it off quickly and the patrol car passes again to make sure I'm doing what I'm told.
This little drama serves to prove two things though:
1) If curtain twitchers reported me, the police are very responsive in my area of N8
2) If it was just a random patrol, it does please me that our streets are being watched. I only wish they'd keep an eye out for the perpetrators of the actual crime.
So, I'm back at home now, slightly exhilarated from the incident. Mr Cupcake is hopping though - he'd just got back from work when I disappeared into the night in my pyjamas and is most concerned that I've nearly been arrested. He's Albanian and kalashnikovs twitch for less than wielding chalk where he's from.
I should also do well to remember that he has St. Ann's hospital on speed dial.